What does it actually take to run a successful business?

Do a quick search on the top five things to think about when running a business and you’ll be shown a varied display of everything from “must have a business plan” to “start small and grow”.

All great advice and things almost everyone should consider as they head down the (sometimes long and weary) path of entrepreneurship.  

But ya want to know what stood out like the sorest of all sore thumbs? 

Not a single one of the (initial) searches mentioned the mental and emotional aspects of putting yourself out there, depending on you and only you to be the financial engine behind generating and growing revenue, and all the day-to-day behind-the-scenes logistical and sometimes mundane tasks of making sure all your ducks are in a row (day in and day out because those tasks never end when you’re doing it all on your own).

Which is odd because that shit is hard as hell (especially in the earlier stages, before you can afford to have a designated individual (even if they’re a freelancer or contract worker) for each arena of your biz).  

Why Mindset Matters

You can have the best business plan, a pristine marketing strategy, and a referral network that reaches to the other side of the globe; but if you don’t trust yourself to deliver, if you don’t believe in your innate and inherent genius, if you struggle to talk about your offer while internally comparing yourself to others and their offers, if you don’t believe that you are allowed to take up just as much space (or more) as the next coach, freelancer, or professional .. none of the other things will matter.  At all.  

Yes, of course the logistics are important.

Yes, of course your business will not run without a strategy in place.

Yes, of course of course you will not bring in any money if you are not telling anyone about your service or product.

But how can you do any of those things if the very thought of telling someone what you do makes you trip over your words and freeze like a deer in headlights? 

So .. let’s amend these lists of things to think about when running a business and go back to square one (think of it like this : if writing a biz plan and developing strategy are biz 101 activities, the mental and emotional processing is like the pre-work that you do the summer before the semester starts and class is actually in session).   

Before (during and after) setting up a business or writing a business plan, you need to get real honest with yourself about how well you : 

– Handle big emotions (What do you do when you feel like your chest is going to burst from anxiety in the middle of your work day?)

– Handle rejection (What happens when your biz partner says they don’t like your big new idea or your client says they’re not 100% satisfied with the work three sessions in, or the company that you contracted with for the next six months cancels any future work together?)

– Can sit with yourself in times of deep uncertainty (SO much of being in business is dealing with the unknown because quite literally, nothing is guaranteed) 

– Can sit with yourself when the voices inside are telling you you F’d up, you’re not cut out for this work, your mother (father, spouse, old mentor, stranger on the bus) was right – you should’ve stayed at that cushy 9-5 with bennies up the wazoo and paid-leave so you didn’t have to stress about (whatever it is that you’re currently stressing over) 

These things; this list.  THIS is what it really takes to run a successful business.  This is the actual foundation that needs to be laid in order to truly hang in there when it feels like everything is going wrong and you can’t figure out which side is up no matter how many times you flip the (theoretical) box around (and don’t you worry, these moments will happen if you’ve yet to experience them :) ). 

So let’s take a moment to dive into a little bit of the how – so you can start to lay the bricks, one by one, and build a foundation from where you can grow (or expand) your empire.  

The first, and most important thing to think about when beginning to get curious about the mental and emotional side of running a business is permission.

What do I mean by that? 

Permission to feel.  

We currently live in an emotionally stunted society.  In a society that collectively doesn’t appropriately recognize emotions like fear, anger, and sadness.  In a society that would rather pathologize and diagnose than understand and explore.  In a society that would rather lift the rug a little higher than dig a little deeper.  

But you don’t have to play by those rules.  In fact, if you want to succeed in business, you literally can’t (play by those old, out-dated rules).

You must get comfortable with being vulnerable AF, with riding the waves of emotion of owning a business.  With giving yourself permission to be human and feel ALL the feels as they come.  All of them. 

So how do you do that? 

By beginning to explore the spaces that you don’t allow. 

Why?  Because our systems fear what they do not know.  And if we never allow ourselves to go there, it will ALWAYS feel scary to return there.  

You can do this in a number of ways.  

Two of the simplest are : 

– Begin to look at the language that you use when you talk about things that are important to you or that you are worried about.  Watch when you say something along the lines of : 

• “It’s not that big of a deal” (but you're talking about it, so it’s a big deal to someone (internally))

• You tell a story about something that’s happened then say “but whatever” or “it’s not like it actually matters”

• You share something that is upsetting to you or has got you worried then say something like “ah but just first world problems” 

– Begin to look at the ways in which you are not allowed to show up (in life, in your relationships, and especially in your business)

• If I asked you : “if you were free to be however you wanted to be, without any repercussions, what would you do?” and you answered something like “I’d be more direct” or “I’d swear more” or I’d wear less makeup” (or “I’d wear more makeup”) but then heard a voice say something like “but you have to be professional” or “but what would people think” – THOSE are the spaces to get curious about 

• Why aren’t you allowed to show up _____ (in that way that you shared above)? 

• What would happen if you did? 

• Are there ways you can start to weave in, even just 1% of the energy of that hidden space?  

As you start to explore the different arenas above, have grace with yourself.  Take breaks when it feels confusing or overwhelming.  And remember to listen to your system.  

And if you’re not 100% sure where to start (or how to go further than the exercises above), book a call with me by reaching out here.